Thursday, October 18, 2012

Some people

are seriously unappreciative.
My life has been quite crazy lately and I have been in quite a dumpy mood. Well, I figured that sharing a little humor with some friends would really help bring up my mood. This is how well that went:
Did you know I was leashed as a child?
Friend No Longer:
Lol I think we all were
So you were too?
Friend No Longer:
That's awesome. I don't know of anyone else who was. 
It's like we've been through something that they'll never understand. 
Kind of like Vietnam.
Friend No Longer:
I provide you with that hard core comic relief and lol is all I get in return?
Friend No Longer:
I'm really into my movie
Whaaat???  I need new friends. Anyone hiring?

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Catching up.

Summer was and still is pretty darned busy! Thank goodness Fall is just around the corner. Now, I can continue to put off the things that are needing to be done for the good of all things Football.
Yes.. I am bursting inside with excitement for my favorite time of the year.... FOOTBALL SEASON! Tailgating, drinking beer, hanging with friends, sweatshirts, beer, falling leaves, games, and more beer. Seriously, does it get any better?
Before I get to crazy into the changing weather, I should probably update you on whats been happening in my life thus far. I am not really in the mood to write a 15-part blog piece so I will just give you pictures and random things that have been on my brain.

Family camp outing. Coloring is good for the soul! :)
Dancing at a bachlorette party.
I don't care how many times I see this, it's hilarious.

The beautiful bride and handsome groom for my cousin's wedding.
My mom is weird. I am nothing like her. I swear ;)
Breast Cancer golf outing. Our group picture with some friends.
Leave it to my bestie to lose her phone inside a golf cart. We have great talents and getting into sticky situations is one of them. :)
Mike and I were at Menards the other day and as we were about to load up a bunch of bricks for our backyard we came up with our master "Disaster Plan". We came to the conclusion that if there were ever a Zombie attack, Alien invasion, or any other out of this world crisis, our first destination will be Menards. It's the perfect place. It's already walled up, it has all the supplies you need, including clothes and food, and you there is room for as many people as you need! So, if one of these situations ever occurs while I am still alive, you know where to find me and my family. :)

Eli Young Band before Rascal Flatts concert. <3
Bestie and I jamming at the concert. Love her!
Sister time! Enjoying quality time together!
Today, well most days, the local radio station drives me crazy. They are notorious for playing the same 10 songs throughout the day about 6 times each. It gets old. They ruin almost every song that I like. (not exaggerated)
It's like they're out to get me or something. 0_o
There is one DJ in particular that makes me want to just throw the radio out completely. Listening to myself breathe would be less annoying than hearing her get excited about a song that sucks. She will play a song that has played on the radio about 1,987,738,009 times and call it a "Brand New!" song. I am sorry lady, but it was only "Brand New!" the first time you played it. After the first 20 times, it's considered just "new". After the first 100 times, we don't want to hear it anymore. Just delete it from your play list and call it a day. Stick a fork in it, it is done. If it were a cake, it would be unrecognizable because you burned the crap out of it. Just throw it out. Or, better yet, call it as it is. "Hey listeners, here is a song you hate because we have destroyed it but, ENJOY!". I could deal with that.

My cousin during part of her Indian wedding ceremony.

The groom in the celebration before the Indian wedding. This was so cool to be apart of!

HAHA! This is just for shit's and giggles.

Some of my awesome family on our way to another cousin's reception. Of course we dance any chance we have!
 My cousin posted this video to my Facebook page. It's awesome! You should watch it!


This makes my summer look like a walk in the park! What the heck...
I wish it were that easy. 
I apparently need to take more pictures so my life looks more busy. I should work on that one.
I could have used a couple more weekends of doing nothing but laying in the sun with a margarita in hand. Luckily, I got to spend my time with my lovely family and friends. I wouldn't change it for anything. 
Unless, it's one of those really big fish bowl margaritas. 
Then, we probably would have had a really good negotiation going. 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Elvis + Clare

Yesterday marked the 35th anniversary of Elvis Presley death. Although I was born 10 years after the fact, Elvis' amazing talents still made an impact in my life early on.

I was about 9ish or so and we were away on a business trip for my mom's work. (My family owns and operates a magazine for Land and Water.) We were on the outskirts of town and there was a big tent set up with a stage and chairs to watch the show.

I don't remember why this was taking place in the middle of no where, thinking back on it now, but hey, I was 9. I wasn't much into details.

Luckily, us kids were seated right in the front row and we were all antsy in our seats in anticipation for what/who was going to be coming on stage. (We all know shorties have problems seeing over all the heads in the back.) Before we were all to burst in excitement, Elvis walked on the stage all fancied out in his white jumpsuit. He looked just like Elvis! Only differences were he was about 10 years older and his beer gut was quite impressive. But, as all little kids do, we loved it. He was magnificent and we shook our little rears until we were pooped.

You're probably wondering how this 1, out of the 6,890,827 Elvis impersonators that are out there, made such a big impression on me.

Well, while he was serenading ME with his wonderful voice, he gently slid a purple scarf out of his back pocket and placed it around my neck.
That was it.
I was in love.
Not with this man but with Elvis. He won my heart even from the grave.
I held on to that scarf with my dear life and showed it off every chance I had.

Obviously, I knew that I couldn't have a relationship with a dead man, so I cherished the scarf until I lost it and I will forever have that memory to hold close to my heart.

Oh, and I also saw the Oscar Mayer wiener car for the first time that trip. It was a life changing vacation.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Happy Trees

Growing up my brothers and I didn't watch a lot of TV. We lived in the country so we were always outside finding something to do. But, after school when we were at the sitters we had a nice line up of shows to watch. Arthur, Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, Power Rangers and, of course, The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. There was just something about watching him with his happy trees and happy clouds that soothed us children.

After finding this golden video this afternoon, my day has been made.

Enjoy my friends. :)

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

My mascot should be....

After this little story, my mascot might be a little obvious. But, I am sure the picture helps also. :)

Over the weekend Mike and I went to a street dance with some friends. We were hanging out in a small group having a good time. When I am with large crowds I tend to space off and do a lot of people watching. This is both relaxing and hilarious for me.
People. Are. So. Weird.
Mid space out I hear a gal in the group say, "So, what do you do, Clare?". I've neither met her before or know her name but, I turn to her, smile and give her a nice detailed explanation of my job, exciting or not. After I finish telling her all about my exciting internet job, she looks at me with a confused face and blurts out, "Seriously? F off!!" turns on her heal and storms off in the other direction.
I look over at Mike with a stunned expression and he just laughs. I look to one of my gal pals and she says, "She wasn't talking to you. She was talking to her boyfriend."
"But she asked me what I do?"
"No, she actually said 'So, what do you care??'"
"Oh, shit." I say as my face turns bright red.

So, in short, my mascot should most definitely be "Awkward Turtle".


Tuesday, June 05, 2012


You know, some days I really want to punch people and just say, "Forget this!", move to a deserted island and leave all the morons behind. #Realtalk. Oh shoot, this isn't twitter... My bad.

I don't understand how people can be so rude when the reason they're upset is their fault in the first place.

Tell me, please, what happens when you don't pay your bill for water? It gets shut off right? Yea, that's what I've heard.

And what happens when you don't pay your cable bill? Yeap, I figured, it gets shut off.

So, when you don't pay your internet bill it's most likely going to get shut off too? It sure the heck does.

Why do people, when the don't pay their bill for three months, think it's okay to call the receptionist and scream at them for not personally calling them and telling them they didn't pay their bill. Why do complete strangers want me to babysit their accounts? What do I have to do? Hold their hand while they write out their check?? Ugh, and why in the name of customer service, do I have to act like I care about their problems with a smile instead of devouring their face with a fist full of "I don't give a shit just pay your bill!!".

I mean seriously, this jerk-hole just about ruined my good day because of his irresponsible accounting abilities. You know what, Mr. Something's up my arse so I take it out on everyone around me, I don't care how upset you are because guess what?! I have internet and you don't. NA NA NA BOO BOO!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Reasons I know I am growing up.

-Derogatory songs on the radio upset me. Rhianna's song S&M for example. Here is a section of the lyrics.
'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it  
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it  
Sticks and stones may break my bones  
But chains and whips excite me.  

Seriously? I understand the song has a great beat, but why in the world would you write a song like that? And children all over the place are listening to songs like that on the radio everyday. It's kind of disgusting actually. But, if I were still a teenager and on the prowl, this song would probably be cool... maybe... if I were really drunk happy.

-Unnecessary drama makes me roll my eyes. Younger relatives of mine talk about their nights out on the town and EVERY TIME the night out ends up in some sort of a fight. Listening to their stories just exhausts me. I remember when I could hang with the big dogs. Now, though, I just shake my finger and say "Tisk, tisk." What is happening to me??

-I drink coffee every morning. I used to drink it because it made me feel powerful inside. Now, I have to drink it or I'll die. Trust me, I've tried going without. My coworkers were so scared by the outcome they bought extra strong coffee just for me.

-I am starting to make lists. Not because I am organized but, because I forget everything.

-Lecturing kids is coming way to naturally. They no longer scare me with their judgmental eyes. I am an adult now. I wear the pants.. until they start crying that is.

-I substitute bad words with less offensive words. Not because swearing isn't fun, because it is way more fun than it's supposed to be. But, not everyone enjoys hearing them as much as I enjoy saying them. So, if you hear me yelling "Refrigerator!!" or "Son of a biscuit!"from the other room when I stub my toe, you know why.

-My mother is coming out of me. That just doesn't sound quite right... but it's true. I find myself saying and doing things my mom does. Like, turning the water off while brushing my teeth. "You're wasting water!" my mom would say. Uh, I hated when she told me that growing up.

The warning signs of growing up are all over the place. Sometimes, though, it's just easier to ignore them and party on... just make sure to drink water and take Tylenal before bed, it helps with the hang over. :)

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I am an inpatient person.

When I get excited about something, I want it now. I try very hard to contain the excitement but the anticipation always ends up killing me. Our new house is definitely taking much longer to get ready than we anticipated. I hate the wait, but man, it will be soooo worth it in the end!!

Things I hate about moving:

*Packing. I completely understand why rich people hire movers. It's so overrated.

*Unpacking. Even worse than packing. Isn't there a magic trick for this... I'm sure it's in a book somewhere.

*Painting. I find no enjoyment in this activity. I'd rather dust. And, if you saw my house, you'd see that doesn't happen very often. What?! Dust bunnies are people too! At least, that is what the Big Comfy Couch taught us.

Things I enjoy about moving:

*Decorating your new home. I am not very good at it, but it will sure be fun!

So far, the only decorating I have been able to get done, is painting. It has not been fun.

I don't have too many new pictures to show you but here is the progress I have gotten on camera so far.

You always have to get a picture of your sold sign!

Getting the carpet and four layers of flooring underneath ripped out.

The final layer under the vinyl flooring. Newspapers from 1970's.

The downstairs bedroom paint color. The pictures does no justice.

Our first housewarming gift! "Gnome Sweet Gnome!" It's so perfect!! =]

Okay, I swear I had more pictures, but apparently I was mistaken. Once I get more taken I will post the actual progress and not so much the mess. Hopefully, (crossing fingers) the floor will all be in by then!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Because of the song

"Call Me Maybe", I wish, just for one day, I were single again.

Picture this.

Hot man walks in to the coffee shop (coffee shops are the place to be, at least they are on TV) strutting his stuff. Me in the corner drooling over his chiseled muscles and sexy mustache. He sits down at the table alone to read the paper and sips on his non-fat, double shot espresso. (Is that even a drink?) After 15 minutes of watching him, I finally get the courage to confront him.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?
And all the other boys, try to chase me, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?

I grab his hand all aggressively and write my digits down.
Then, I flick my hair to one side, give the fella a sexy little wink, turn with a sexy hip pop and walk out.

Just take a listen... you'll get the same feeling...

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Well, would you look at that...

Well, readers.. Today is a good day for you. I was able to snag a couple pictures of the inerds of our new home!! (enter applaud)

We just got the basics down; kitchen, living room, dinning room and bathroom. As soon as we have possession, we will be painting and replacing the carpets downstairs. Unfortunately, the previous owner had cats and with me being allergic and having dogs, getting rid of the evidence is the best plan.
Plus, I've never had the chance to pick out my very own flooring. This is something I have waited my whole life for.
People, take notes, dreams DO come true. ;)

My new KITCHENN!! I am so excited. There is more storage and a desk behind the camera guy.

Dinning room. Behind camera guy is the kitchen and you're looking at the front door.

Living room. The dinning room is at camera guy's back.

Our sweet shower. I was expecting a little more of the bathroom for this picture. Camera guy was hard of hearing that day I guess.
One bummer about the bathroom is there is no bath. I enjoy baths occasionally, so I think Mike is going to put a big bucket in the basement for me to soak in. He said he'll run me buckets of warm water to keep me warm. He's so good to me.

In other news, Mike smoked some beer can chickens Sunday night. They were absolutely divine!! So delicious in fact, we felt it necessary to have a photo op. Chickens are not afraid to work the camera.
This one is for you Lorrie!

If you're going to cooking with beer, you better be drinking beer.

Friday, May 04, 2012

Clare and Humidity sitting in a tree...

Clare pushed humidity out of the tree in hopes it would die.

The only reason I like winter is because there is no humidity. Of course the hair is so dry you could shock a battery to life with one swoop of your foot on the carpet! Did I say hair? I meant air, but since you mentioned hair... humidity hates my hair. Like, really, really, hates my hair.

Here is an example of what my hair looks like in the morning of a nice winter day.

Having straight hair automatically give you free usage of the "sexy" face.

Here is an example of what my hair looks like five minutes after walking out the door on a winter day.

Thanks to hairspray, it is maintainable.

But, stupid humidity conquers all my attempts at calming my hair.

I could leave the house with 19 lbs of hair spray, 1 full can of hair gel, and a nice amount of professional anti friz. Enter humidity and this is what you get...

Screw you humidity. I need to move to Arizona where the heat is dry and humidity is laughed at like the kid in the corner wearing the dunce hat.

P.s. Humidity makes my hands sticky. It's gross.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Day 30: Self Portrait -LAST DAY!!

Day 29: Food

Day 28: Black and White

My family...

finally had pictures taken!!! It's been, about, 93 years since we've actually had family pictures taken. Luckily, my bestie, Jacci, is an amazing photographer and we were able to steal her for a couple hours for some picture action.

So, with out further ado...

Awe, aren't they sweet.

Mitchy has always been a little... different. ;)

Sometimes you just have to let it out...

Detectives at work.

What a damn good looking family! I like to brag about my gorgeous family. If you have a gorgeous family I'm sure you understand and do the same. If you don't have a gorgeous family... well, sorry about your luck! :)